“The most functional way to regulate difficult emotions in love relationships is to share them.”
– Dr. Sue Johnson
Clinical psychologist | Founder of EFT
WHAT IS EFT?
“Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a unique and highly effective form of therapy that helps people understand and improve their emotional connection with themselves and others. Developed in the 1980s, EFT is based on the principle that our emotions are central to our experiences and relationships. It suggests that we are naturally designed to have a secure sense of who we are and a sense of self we can trust and rely on. This solid base allows for strong, supportive bonds with others, and when these bonds are secure, we tend to be happier and healthier.
What makes EFT stand out is its focus on emotions and how we manage and use them. This approach helps people understand their feelings and the feelings of those around them, leading to healthier and more fulfilling relationships. It’s not just about finding quick fixes; it’s about getting to the heart of the matter and creating lasting change.
EFT isn’t just a theory; its effectiveness is backed by extensive clinical research. It’s considered a gold standard in this field. If you’re looking to deepen your personal connections, manage emotional challenges, strengthen your sense of self as a confident and competent person, and improve your family or romantic relationships, Emotionally Focused Therapy will be a transformative choice. It’s about building stronger connections, understanding self and each other better, and fostering emotional health, all of which are key to a happier, more fulfilling life.”
Borrowed from ICEEFT Website. Click the button below to learn more about EFT:
THE POWER OF LOVE
Watch the Video:
In this clip, Dr. Sue Johnson describes the power of love in secure relationships by saying:
“When we are loved, we blossom.”
EFCT helps couples build and strengthen the kind of bond that helps them flourish. When we feel securely connected, our relationships becomes a source of resilience—helping us navigate stress, uncertainty, and life's inevitable changes.
WHAT IS EFCT?
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) applies the EFT model to romantic relationships. It works by helping partners identify and transform the negative interaction cycles that create distress, disconnection, and conflict. As these cycles shift, couples are able to develop greater emotional responsiveness, secure attachment, and healthy interdependence.
EFCT is an experiential approach, meaning change happens not just through insight, but through in-session emotional experience and interactions. Partners are supported in accessing, deepening, and sharing their emotional world with one another in ways that foster felt understanding, safety, and connection.
Oftentimes, partners begin to experience relief quickly through de-escalation of conflict cycles. There are exceptions to this, such as highly escalated conflict cycles or cases with complex trauma.
THREE STAGES OF EFCT:
01
De-escalation
In Stage 1, the negative cycle driving relationship distress is identified and understood through the lens of attachment. The focus is on accessing and expressing the underlying emotions and attachment needs that fuel recurring patterns of conflict and disconnection.
02
Restructuring
In Stage 2, deeper emotions and attachment needs are accessed, expressed, and shared within the relationship. Through new experiences of responsiveness, acceptance, and emotional attunement, a stronger and more secure bond can emerge.
03
Consolidation
In Stage 3, new patterns of connection are solidified and integrated into daily life. Old challenges and recurring stuck points are approached with new understanding and relational experiences and partners have developed skills to navigate future challenges.
THE STEPS OF EFCT
Watch the Video:
EFCT provides a clear roadmap for understanding what is happening beneath recurring arguments and helping partners respond to one another in new ways. Listen as Dr. Sue Johnson explains the work of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), outlining the steps and stages of the model.
What do our sessions look like?
Every relationship is unique, and our work is shaped by your particular patterns, challenges, strengths, and goals. At the same time, EFCT provides a clear roadmap for understanding relationship distress. Together, we'll identify the negative cycle that keeps you stuck, slow down moments of conflict and disconnection, and explore the deeper emotions, attachment needs, and protective strategies that organize your interactions.
At times, our work may also incorporate mindfulness, body awareness, parts work, or other experiential interventions to help access and express experiences that can be difficult to put into words.
My approach is collaborative, integrative, compassionate, and paced with care. Nothing is forced. Rather than focusing on communication skills or fair fighting rules, the goal is to create new experiences of safety, responsiveness, and emotional engagement that can transform how you relate to one another both inside and outside the therapy room.
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If something resonates, I'd love to connect.
Reach out to schedule a free consultation and see if we might be a good fit or connect with me if you have any questions.
Relationships can be one of our greatest sources of comfort, meaning, and resilience—but they can also be challenging! If you've ever wondered whether couples therapy is right for you, this blog addresses five common myths that often keep people from reaching out for support. Whether you're dating, married, queer, polyamorous, or somewhere in between, couples therapy can help strengthen connection, improve communication, and foster greater emotional security.