“The most functional way to regulate difficult emotions in love relationships is to share them.”
– Dr. Sue Johnson
Clinical psychologist | Founder of EFT
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, is an experiential model of therapy grounded in the attachment science. EFT prioritizes emotion and emotional regulation as the pathway to change, helping to re-engage our innate attachment and caregiving systems.
The model is process-focused, meaning it attends closely to what is happening in the present moment between and within people, identifying patterns of emotional engagement as they unfold. It is deeply emotion-focused, using the language of attachment to help clients access, expand, and organize emotional experience in meaningful ways. EFT is also systematic, facilitating both immediate shifts in interaction and deeper structural change in how people experience themselves and their relationships.
Learn more by visiting ICEEFT, the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy.
What is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy?
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) applies the EFT model to romantic relationships. It works by helping partners identify and transform the negative interaction cycles that create distress, disconnection, and conflict. As these cycles shift, couples are able to develop greater emotional responsiveness, secure attachment, and healthy interdependence.
EFCT is an experiential approach, meaning change happens not just through insight, but through in-session emotional experience and interactions. Partners are supported in accessing, deepening, and sharing their emotional world with one another in ways that foster felt understanding, safety, and connection.
EFCT has three stages of treatment:
01
De-escalation
In Stage 1, the negative cycle driving relationship distress is identified and understood through the lens of attachment. The focus is on accessing and expressing the underlying emotions and attachment needs that fuel recurring patterns of conflict and disconnection.
02
Restructuring
In Stage 2, deeper emotions and attachment needs are accessed, expressed, and shared within the relationship. Through new experiences of responsiveness, acceptance, and emotional attunement, a stronger and more secure bond can emerge.
03
Consolidation
In Stage 3, new patterns of connection are solidified and integrated into daily life. Old challenges and recurring stuck points are approached with new understanding and relational experiences and partners have developed skills to navigate future challenges.
EFCT provides a clear roadmap for understanding what is happening beneath recurring arguments and helping partners respond to one another in new ways. Oftentimes, partners begin to experience relief quickly through de-escalation of conflict cycles. There are exceptions to this, such as highly escalated conflict cycles or cases with complex trauma.
What do our sessions look like?
Every relationship is unique, and our work is shaped by your particular patterns, challenges, strengths, and goals. At the same time, EFCT provides a clear roadmap for understanding relationship distress. Together, we'll identify the negative cycle that keeps you stuck, slow down moments of conflict and disconnection, and explore the deeper emotions, attachment needs, and protective strategies that organize your interactions.
At times, our work may also incorporate mindfulness, body awareness, parts work, or other experiential interventions to help access and express experiences that can be difficult to put into words.
My approach is collaborative, integrative, compassionate, and paced with care. Nothing is forced. Rather than focusing solely on communication skills, the goal is to create new experiences of safety, responsiveness, and emotional engagement that can transform how partners relate to one another both inside and outside the therapy room.
If you want to learn more, I'd love to connect.
Reach out to schedule a free consultation and see if we might be a good fit or connect with me if you have any questions.